(I work near a campus which is currently in finals-week, so quite a few students come in early to get a pick-me-up before their exams. Five customers are in line; four regulars, followed by an impatient customer at the end. )
Impatient Customer: “Gods! Why can’t this b**** work the cash register faster? I’ve got some important things to do!”
Regular #1: “Calm down, buddy. She’s doing just fine.”
Regular #3: “Yeah. Like what you have to do is important to any of us.”
Regular #4: “Seriously. We’re all in a hurry here.”
Impatient Customer: “Yeah? Well, he’s not!”
(The impatient customer points at Regular #2.)
Impatient Customer: “I’m getting in front of him!”
(Regular #2 is very young, and looks like a college student at first glance. He also always comes in looking like he’s asleep, but gets in and out with no problem.)
Impatient Customer: “This dumb-a** probably stayed up all night cramming for his test! Stop leaving s*** until the last second dumb-a**!”
(The impatient customer starts forcing his way forward. As soon as he touches Regular #2, there is a blur of motion, and the impatient customer is flying towards a display. Another blur of motion occurs, and Regular #2 is standing in front of the display and the impatient customer is on the floor near the door instead.)
Regulars #1, #3 And #4: “What just happened?!”
Regular #2: “I didn’t want him crashing into the display and causing more work for this little lady here.”
Me: “[Regular #2's name] has practiced martial arts since he was eight. He helps out at [local dojo I go to].”
Regular #2: *to the impatient customer* “Also, aren’t you the lead for [name] with [company name]?”
Impatient Customer: “How’d you know that?”
Regular #2: “Because I’m the developer for the product you’ve requested from [other company name]. I’m going to be so glad to tell your boss this product isn’t viable, because his lead is impossible to work with. I do hope you enjoy your wait in line, because I’m going to personally make your workday miserable.”
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