Saturday, March 19, 2011

funny

  • Unix is the only virus with a command line interface
  • Windows 95 makes Unix look like an operating system
  • How are we supposed to hack your system if it's always down!
  • God is real, unless declared integer
  • I'm tempted to buy the slashdot staff a grammar checker. What do they do for 40 hours a week?
  • Paypal : Please enter your credit card number to continue
  • It takes a million monkeys at typewriters to write Shakespeare, but only a dozen monkeys at computers to run Network Solutions
  • Please help - firewall burnt down - lost packet - reward $$$
  • If Linux were a beer, it would be shipped in open barrels so that anybody could piss in it before delivery
  • Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle
  • Perl, the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption
  • Norton: Incoming virus - (D)ownload and save (R)un after download
  • I had a dream... and there were 1's and 0's everywhere, and I think I saw a 2!
  • You sir, are an unknown USB device driver
  • C isn't that hard: void (*(*f[])())() defines f as an array of unspecified size, of pointers to functions that return pointers to functions that return void

Thursday, March 17, 2011

funny

  • Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product
  • NT is the only OS that has caused me to beat a piece of hardware to death with my bare hands
  • Warning! Kernel crashed, Run for your lives !
  • NASA uses Windows? Oh great. If Apollo 13 went off course today the manual would just tell them to open the airlock, flush the astronauts out, and re-install new one
  • JavaScript: An authorizing language designed to make Netscape crash
  • How's my programming? Call 1-800-DEV-NULL
  • Yes, friends and neighbors, boys and girls - my PC speaker crashed NT
  • root:> Sorry, you entered the wrong password, the correct password is 'a_49qwXk'
  • New linux package released. Please install on /dev/null
  • Quake and uptime do not like each other
  • Unix...best if used before: Tue Jan 19 03:14:08 GMT 2038
  • As you well know, magic and weapons are prohibited inside the cafeteria -- Final Fantasy VIII
  • Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labo

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

jokes ?

  • I'm sorry for the double slash (Tim Berners-Lee in a Panel Discussion, WWW7, Brisbane, 1998)
  • Ah, young webmaster... java leads to shockwave. Shockwave leads to realaudio. And realaudio leads to suffering
  • What color do you want that database?
  • C++ is a write-only language, once can write programs in C++, but I can't read any of them
  • As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code
  • earth is 98% full ... please delete anyone you can
  • A typical yahoo chat room: "A has signed in, A has signed out, B has signed in, B has signed out, C has signed in, C has signed out.."
  • When someone says "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done," give him a lollipop
  • Warning! No processor found! Press any key to continue

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Jokes

  • Shut up, or i'll flush you out
  • Cron : Enter cron command \ Now enter the number of minutes in an hour
  • We are experiencing system trouble -- do not adjust your terminal
  • You have successfully hacked in, Welcome to the FBI mainframes.
  • I'm sorry, our software is perfect. The problem must be you
  • Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway
  • Webhost livehelp: Sir you ran out of bandwidth, User: Where can I download that?
  • If Ruby is not and Perl is the answer, you don't understand the question
  • Having soundcards is nice... having embedded sound in web pages is not
  • My computer was full, so I deleted everything on the right half
  • You have received a new mail which is 195537 hours old
  • Yahoo! Mail: Your email was sent successfully. The email will delivered in 4 days and 8 hours

Friday, March 11, 2011

Joke's ?

  • Smith & Wesson: The Original Point And Click Interface
  • Shout onto a newsgroup : It echoes back flames and spam
  • Firewall : Intruder detected. (A)llow in (D)eactivate the firewall
  • Real programmers can write assembly code in any language
  • Warning! Perl script detected! (K)ill it , (D)eactivate it
  • Firewall : Do you want to place a motion detector on port 80 ?
  • Helpdesk: Sir, please refill your ink catridges Customer : Where can i download that?
  • All computers run at the same speed... with the power off
  • You have successfully logged in, Now press any key to log out
  • Sorry, the password you tried is already being used by Dorthy, please try something else.
  • Sorry, that username already exists. (O)verwrite it (C)ancel
  • Please send all flames, trolls, and complaints to /dev/toilet

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Jokes

  • Yes! My code compiled, and my wife just produced the output
  • Windows 98 supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously
  • Zap! And there was the blue screen !
  • Please send all spam to my main address, root@localhost :-)
  • MailerD(a)emon: You just received 9133547 spam. (O)pen all, (R)ead one by one, (C)heck for more spam
  • A: Can you teach me how to use a computer? B: No. I just fix the machines, I don't use them
  • PayPal: Your funds have been frozen for 668974 days
  • 1-800-404 : The subscriber you are trying to call does not exist
  • 1-800-403 : Access to that subscriber was denied
  • Error message: "Out of paper on drive D:"
  • If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
  • A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
  • "Mr. Worf, scan that ship." "Aye Captain. 300 dpi?"

Monday, March 7, 2011

Jokes

  • Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity
  • Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.
  • To err is human...to really foul up requires the root password.
  • Invalid password : Please enter the correct password to (Abort / Retry / Ignore )
  • FUBAR - where Geeks go for a drink
  • I degaussed my girlfriend and I'm just not attracted to her anymore
  • Scandisk : Found 2 bad sectors. Please enter a new HD to continue scanning
  • Black holes are where God divided by zero
  • Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
  • Thank god, my baby just compiled